You've Aged… Well – Funny Milestone Text Message Card

about this product...

💬 You've Aged… Well

This card says what everyone’s thinking
But wraps it in a nice font and a little passive-aggressive love.

“You’ve aged…”
dun dun dun
“…well.”
Minimal. Savage. Kinda sweet. Like a backhanded compliment in paper form.


🤳 Modern Flirt Energy

Let’s be honest. We live in the era of:

  • “Happy birthday!” via text

  • Cryptic emoji replies

  • Group chat roasts

This card? It’s all of that in one place — just on premium cardstock.
It mimics a real text message thread so well you’ll want to tap it.


🧠 Why This Card Works:

  • It’s hilarious without trying too hard

  • It’s modern without being cringe

  • It roasts but redeems

  • And it’s so you if your love language is sarcasm and screenshots


🎯 Who’s This Card For?

  • That friend who still uses anti-aging cream but insists they “love getting older”

  • Your sibling who peaked in 2012

  • The work mate who turned 40 and pretended not to cry

  • Literally anyone who needs to laugh while aging disgracefully

Perfect for milestone birthdays, growing-up trauma anniversaries, and general celebrations of slowly falling apart.


📏 Sizes Available

  • A6 – Small but savage

  • A5– Classic and display-worthy

  • A4 – For big personalities or long roast speeches


🖨️ Quality & Details

  • Printed on thick, premium cardstock (won’t flop like their metabolism)

  • Text-message themed design with crisp colors

  • Blank inside – you decide if you wanna be sweet, savage, or both

  • Includes envelope — ready to slide into their hands or letterbox with love (and shade)


✍️ What to Write Inside?

  • “You’ve aged like a fine wine… boxed and affordable.”

  • “Still hot, just seasoned.”

  • “Congrats on unlocking back pain.”

  • “You’ve aged well. Can’t say the same for your jokes.”

Or just scribble “lol” and sign it with your initials like the mysterious bitch you are.


📦 Shipping Info

  • UK: 2–5 business days

  • International: 7–14 days (customs, baby)

  • Orders ship in 1–3 days. We move fast — like your frontal lobe’s decay.


🔁 Refund & Return Stuff

  • Wrong card? Damaged? Ghosted by Royal Mail? Message us within 7 days. We fix it.

  • Didn’t arrive? Replacements after 14 days (UK) or 30 (international).

  • Refunds go back to your OG payment method.

  • Returns accepted on non-custom orders within 14 days if it’s in original condition.


🎨 The KEOLIX Vibe

We do bold cards for people with bold energy.
From puns to roasts to surprisingly deep one-liners — everything’s designed to make people feel something.

✔ Handmade-vibe with top-tier print
✔ Emotional, cheeky, sometimes weird (just like you)
✔ Not your granny’s greeting card — unless your granny is a badass


🛍️ Wrap It Up

A card that says:
“I love you. I see you. I’m also here to remind you you’re not 25 anymore.”

It’s funny. It’s real. It’s just enough emotional damage to be memorable.
Add it to your cart, babe. Let’s celebrate their grey hairs in style.

 

💜 About KEOLIX

KEOLIX is not for the passive, the plain, or the “meh.”
We’re the brand your neutral tote bag warned you about.

Everything here is handmade, in-house, and intentionally bold. From rude birthday cards to weirdly loveable stickers and statement prints, KEOLIX designs are built to spark joy, start drama, or add just enough chaos to your day.

Want to make your order giftable? Pair it with one of our handmade cards — we’ve got sweet, sassy, and straight-up savage.

Not sure what to get? Check out our bestsellers — the people know what’s good.

Need layout inspiration or want to see what people are doing with their KEOLIX hauls? We’re always building aesthetic combos and real-life styling ideas here. Go get lost in it.

KEOLIX isn’t just a shop. It’s a vibe. And you’re in it now.

 

✨ At KEOLIX, we believe small things can spark big smiles. Every product we create is made with heart, humor, and a touch of rebellion. Whether you're collecting pins, gifting cards, or brightening your space with prints, you're supporting a brand that values creativity, quality, and meaning. Our designs are more than accessories — they're conversation starters, confidence boosters, and love notes in disguise. Thanks for shopping small and choosing bold. Want more? Browse our latest drops, join our loyalty club, or follow along on social for sneak peeks and giveaways. Stay bold, stay kind, and keep collecting what makes you feel like you.

 

Size:

A5

Finish:

Matte
Price
£4.50
In stock and ready for shipping