Not Getting Any Younger – Funny Raisin & Grape Card

Well, You're Not Getting Any Younger – A Raisinable Reminder That Aging is Hilarious

Got someone in your life who’s still thriving but definitely not ripening? Our “Well, You’re Not Getting Any Younger” card says what we’re all thinking — with charm, wit, and two adorable fruit-based characters. One’s a juicy grape. The other? A shriveled raisin. The message? Brutal honesty with a hug and a cackle.

Perfect for birthdays, Valentine’s, anniversaries, or those random “just because” moments where your love language is sassy banter.

🍷 WHY THIS CARD SLAPS:

💥 It’s Funny Without Being Mean
The cartoon grape-and-raisin duo deliver the punchline with charm. It’s the perfect way to remind someone they’re aging — but like, cutely. A little wrinkle never hurt anyone.

💥 It’s Relatable As Hell
Whether they’re pushing 30, 40, or cruising past 50 with a Zimmer frame and a Spotify playlist, this card hits the sweet spot between laughter and affection.

💥 It’s For Everyone
Partners, friends, siblings, parents, coworkers… anyone with a birthday and a sense of humor.

📏 CARD FEATURES:

🖼️ Unique Card Design
Features a cartoon grape and raisin in conversation — one clearly thriving, the other clearly… seasoned. The caption? “Well, you’re not getting any younger.” Oof. Savage. Perfect.

📐 Card Size Options

• A6 (4.1" x 5.8") – small but mighty

• A5  – perfect for proud display

• A4 – for maximum impact and giggles

🖨️ Premium Print Card Quality
Printed on 300gsm matte cardstock — luxurious, thick, and high-quality enough to frame. The design is vibrant and crisp, with colors that pop like a birthday balloon.

✍️ Blank Interior
Plenty of space inside to write something sweet, savage, sincere — or all three. Go wild with your roast or melt them with love. Your call.

📬 Envelope Included
Each card comes with a perfectly matched envelope, ready to send or slide across the table with that knowing smirk.

🥳 PERFECT FOR:

• Funny Birthday Wishes — Especially for those crossing “another year older” territory

• Valentine’s Day — Because nothing says romance like fruit-based aging metaphors

• Anniversaries — Show your partner you love them, even if they’re halfway to prune status

• Just Because — Surprise a friend with a laugh, a roast, and a warm fuzzy feeling all in one

📦 SHIPPING & RETURNS

Processing Time: 1–3 business days
UK Delivery: 2–5 business days
International: 7–14 business days (customs may delay)

Tracking: Available if selected at checkout — you’ll get full email updates.

🔁 RETURNS & REFUNDS

• 🖼️ Damaged or incorrect item? Email us within 7 days with a photo — we’ll replace or refund, no stress.

• 💸 Refunds go to the original payment method after returns are received.

• 📦 Returns accepted within 14 days on non-personalized items. Buyer covers postage unless we messed up (rare, but we own it).

Email: hello@keolix.com

🌈 WHY BUY FROM KEOLIX?

We don’t just sell cards — we sell moments.
Moments that make people laugh, cry, cackle, and screenshot it to send to the group chat.

✔ Hundreds of bold, original designs
✔ Built for weirdos, romantics, and sarcastic legends
✔ UK-based, with love and quality in every design
✔ Secret drops, reward points, and member perks

🛒 Order this raisin-roasting gem today and make someone snort-laugh into their birthday cake.
Because aging is inevitable — but boring cards? Optional.

💜 About KEOLIX

KEOLIX is not for the passive, the plain, or the “meh.”
We’re the brand your neutral tote bag warned you about.

Everything here is handmade, in-house, and intentionally bold. From rude birthday cards to weirdly loveable stickers and statement prints, KEOLIX designs are built to spark joy, start drama, or add just enough chaos to your day.

Want to make your order giftable? Pair it with one of our handmade cards — we’ve got sweet, sassy, and straight-up savage.

Not sure what to get? Check out our bestsellers — the people know what’s good.

Need layout inspiration or want to see what people are doing with their KEOLIX hauls? We’re always building aesthetic combos and real-life styling ideas here. Go get lost in it.

KEOLIX isn’t just a shop. It’s a vibe. And you’re in it now.

✨ At KEOLIX, we believe small things can spark big smiles. Every product we create is made with heart, humor, and a touch of rebellion. Whether you're collecting pins, gifting cards, or brightening your space with prints, you're supporting a brand that values creativity, quality, and meaning. Our designs are more than accessories — they're conversation starters, confidence boosters, and love notes in disguise. Thanks for shopping small and choosing bold. Want more? Browse our latest drops, join our loyalty club, or follow along on social for sneak peeks and giveaways. Stay bold, stay kind, and keep collecting what makes you feel like you.