Medieval Hustle Tote – Thou Shalt Be All 'Bout That Paper

about this product...

✨ Thou Shalt Secure the Bag, Sire.

Behold — the “Thou Shalt Be All 'Bout Chasin' Dat Paper” tote bag.
A divine fusion of Gothic grandeur and get-that-bread energy.

If you’re building an empire with the tenacity of a 14th-century knight and the side-eye of a Gen Z CEO, this bag is your creed. Whether you’re storming the castle (aka the office), stacking gold (aka invoices), or just doing the weekly Aldi run — carry your hustle with holy flair.


📦 Tote Features

  • Gothic x Grit Design: Medieval calligraphy meets a cheeky money cartoon — it’s Shakespeare with a Shopify account

  • Eco-Friendly Swag: Made from 100% recycled cotton – because sustainability is hot and wealth is smarter when it’s ethical

  • Size of a Hustler’s Heart: 40 x 38 cm (15.7 x 15 inches) – fits scrolls, snacks, MacBooks, and dreams

  • Durable AF: 130–135gsm recycled fabric that’s soft, strong, and washable after ye Olde iced latte spill

  • Flexible Function: Errands, markets, manifesting wealth at brunch — this bag does it all


❤️ Emotional Benefits / Use-Case

This tote is for:

  • The boss girl who writes goals in calligraphy and hits them like arrows

  • The side-hustler who reads Sun Tzu before sleep

  • The freelancer who closes a deal, flips her hair, and says “It is done”

Use it when:

  • You’re headed to class, but your soul’s already in the Forbes list

  • You want people to know you have taste, wit, and multiple income streams

It’s not just a tote.
It’s a sacred scroll of ambition.


🎁 Tote Gift Potential

Gift this tote to:

  • Your money-minded mate

  • The chaotic bestie who always talks in Old English for fun

  • Yourself — because thou art the investment

Perfect tote for:

  • Graduation gifts with a twist

  • Funny but powerful birthday presents

  • Building a brand persona that screams “I slay dragons and direct deposits”


👛 Medieval Aesthetic Meets Modern Grind

Pairs with:

  • Black boots, oversized blazers, or chainmail (your choice)

  • Witty tattoos and notebooks full of passive income ideas

  • The vibe of "Yes, I’m working on my empire."

Use it for:

  • Your daily crusades (errands)

  • Networking events (or renaissance fairs)

  • Mood-boarding your billionaire era


♻️ Ethically Glorious

  • Made from 100% recycled cotton

  • Printed in limited eco-conscious batches

  • No plastic. No nonsense.

  • Designed to outlast fleeting trends and TikTok drops


🛍️ Add to Cart – Join the Sacred Order of the Hustle

This is not merch.
This is modern scripture for the ambitious.

👉 Add to Cart now
👉 Carry your ambition in a bag worthy of the throne
👉 Because chivalry is dead, but the grind lives on


📦 Shipping & Returns Info

All orders ship in 1–3 business days.

UK Delivery: 2–5 working days
International: 7–14 days (delays may occur at customs)

📦 You’ll receive a tracking link (if applicable) via email.

Returns & Refunds

  • Changed your mind? Return within 14 days (non-personalized items)

  • Wrong or damaged item? Email us a photo within 7 days

  • Lost shipment? UK: contact after 14 days. International: 30 days

  • Refunds issued to original payment method after return

📧 For any support, contact us at hello@keolix.com


🔗 Keolix: The House of Bold

We make bags for the modern rebel.
Sass meets sentiment.
Profit meets poetry.

This bag?
It's for the ones who rewrite history — with flair, funds, and a little bit of fun.

💜 About KEOLIX

KEOLIX is not for the passive, the plain, or the “meh.”
We’re the brand your neutral tote bag warned you about.

Everything here is handmade, in-house, and intentionally bold. From rude birthday cards to weirdly loveable stickers and statement prints, KEOLIX designs are built to spark joy, start drama, or add just enough chaos to your day.

Want to make your order giftable? Pair it with one of our handmade cards — we’ve got sweet, sassy, and straight-up savage.

Not sure what to get? Check out our bestsellers — the people know what’s good.

Need layout inspiration or want to see what people are doing with their KEOLIX hauls? We’re always building aesthetic combos and real-life styling ideas here. Go get lost in it.

KEOLIX isn’t just a shop. It’s a vibe. And you’re in it now.

✨ At KEOLIX, we believe small things can spark big smiles. Every product we create is made with heart, humor, and a touch of rebellion. Whether you're collecting pins, gifting cards, or brightening your space with prints, you're supporting a brand that values creativity, quality, and meaning. Our designs are more than accessories — they're conversation starters, confidence boosters, and love notes in disguise. Thanks for shopping small and choosing bold. Want more? Browse our latest drops, join our loyalty club, or follow along on social for sneak peeks and giveaways. Stay bold, stay kind, and keep collecting what makes you feel like you.

Price
£10.99
In stock and ready for shipping