“Bloody Hell, You’re Old!” – Funny Wizard Birthday Card

🧙 Ignite Their Birthday with Magic and Mischief

Looking for a cheeky wizard birthday card that’s funny, flirty, and just the right amount of chaotic? Say hello to the fire-haired spellcaster who’s here to roast them with love.

“Bloody Hell, You’re Old!”
Not a compliment — a curse. But the kind that comes with cake.

Whether you're winding up your partner, teasing your best mate, or just being that friend who always brings the banter — this card delivers a magical punchline they won’t forget.

💬 Why You’ll Love This Card:

• Hilariously Rude – For the birthday legend who’s aging like a cursed potion

• Wizard-Approved – Fantasy vibes + British sarcasm = birthday gold

• Blank Inside – Write your own roast, poem, or spell

• Fridge-Worthy – This isn’t getting binned. It’s getting displayed.

• For Every Age Group – Whether they’re 21 or 91, they’re still spellbound

👑 Available Card Sizes:

• A6 (4.1 x 5.8") – Small, snappy, and spell-ready

• A5  – A classic for gifting or posting

• A4 – Go big or go back to Hogwarts

Each card comes with a premium envelope and is safely flat-packed in eco-rigid mailers (no creases, no chaos).

🔥 Product Features:

• Premium Matte Cardstock – Feels expensive, doesn’t cost a wand

• Full-Colour Wizard Design – Vibrant print and magical type

• Blank Inside – Perfect for writing sweet nothings or wizard-level roasts

• Envelope Included – Duh. It’s not magic without the delivery

• Eco-Friendly Packaging – Delivered by owl (or Royal Mail)

💘 Perfect For:

• That friend who’s ancient but iconic

• Partners who embrace the roast

• Wizard-lovers and Potterheads

• Birthdays that need more spark than candles can give

• Office legends who love a cheeky card (HR can’t stop us all)

🧠 What Makes It Magical:

This card is more than just a funny line — it’s a vibe.
When you hand this over, you’re not just saying “happy birthday.” You’re saying:

“You’ve survived another year — somehow.”

“I’d still cast Accio Cake for you.”

“Yes, you’re old. Yes, I noticed.”

It’s the ultimate combo of sass, sarcasm, and love — KEOLIX style.

🎁 Gift Idea:

Want to take it from funny to unforgettable?

• Add a tiny chocolate wand or glitter (chaos optional)

• Write your own spell inside: "Wrinkleus Maximus"

• Pair it with a KEOLIX art print or sticker pack for a full themed moment

• Include a selfie of you pointing a wand and smirking. That’s commitment.

📦 Shipping & Returns

UK Orders:
– Ships in 1–3 business days
– Delivered in 2–5 working days
– Eco mailers, no spells needed

International Orders:
– Delivery: 7–14 business days
– Tracked shipping included
– Customs delays may happen (but magic helps)

Returns & Refunds:
– Accepted on non-personalised items within 14 days
– Must be unused, unopened, and in original condition
– Email us: hello@keolix.com for help (we’re friendly, promise)

Lost or Damaged?
– UK: Contact us after 14 days
– International: After 30 days
– We’ll fix it — no potion brewing required

💜 About KEOLIX

KEOLIX is not for the passive, the plain, or the “meh.”
We’re the brand your neutral tote bag warned you about.

Everything here is handmade, in-house, and intentionally bold. From rude birthday cards to weirdly loveable stickers and statement prints, KEOLIX designs are built to spark joy, start drama, or add just enough chaos to your day.

Want to make your order giftable? Pair it with one of our handmade cards — we’ve got sweet, sassy, and straight-up savage.

Not sure what to get? Check out our bestsellers — the people know what’s good.

Need layout inspiration or want to see what people are doing with their KEOLIX hauls? We’re always building aesthetic combos and real-life styling ideas here. Go get lost in it.

KEOLIX isn’t just a shop. It’s a vibe. And you’re in it now.

✨ At KEOLIX, we believe small things can spark big smiles. Every product we create is made with heart, humor, and a touch of rebellion. Whether you're collecting pins, gifting cards, or brightening your space with prints, you're supporting a brand that values creativity, quality, and meaning. Our designs are more than accessories — they're conversation starters, confidence boosters, and love notes in disguise. Thanks for shopping small and choosing bold. Want more? Browse our latest drops, join our loyalty club, or follow along on social for sneak peeks and giveaways. Stay bold, stay kind, and keep collecting what makes you feel like you.