World’s Biggest Prick Card – Funny Cactus Greeting Card

🌵 WORLD’S BIGGEST PRICK CARD

Perfectly rude. Delightfully pointy. This card has got bite.

If Hallmark makes you itch and heartfelt messages make you gag, this one’s for you. The “World’s Biggest Prick” card comes fully loaded with sass and sarcasm—featuring a smug little cactus that knows exactly what it’s doing.

Whether it’s a backhanded compliment, a cheeky roast, or a secret wink at someone you adore (and love to wind up), this card is here to make sure your message sticks.

🥳 For the Friend Who's a Bit of a Prick (But Yours)

Everyone’s got that mate. The one who steals your chips, sends unhinged memes at 3AM, and somehow still makes your life better. This is for them.

Or maybe your boss is actually a legend. Maybe your sibling needs taking down a peg. Maybe your situationship just gets your humour. Either way, this card is the cactus in their inbox—and they’ll love it.

💌 What’s Inside?

Nothing. Just space. For you to go feral.
Write something soft. Or savage. Or both. This blank interior is ready for love, insults, or existential rambling.

🌈 Available Sizes:

• A6 (4.1" x 5.8") – cute and compact

• A5 – the classic choice

• A4 – when you want to really hammer the joke home

Each comes with an envelope, so you can actually send it (or just leave it somewhere strategic).

💎 Card Features:

• Vibrant Design – a cartoon cactus with major side-eye

• High-Quality Cardstock – sturdy enough to survive passive-aggressive fridge displays

• Blank Inside – because you’re the funny one

• Envelope Included – let’s keep it classy-ish

🎯 Perfect For:

• Birthdays (especially if they’ve been acting brand new)

• Congrats – new job, new flat, new level of audacity

• Breakups – we’re not saying do it, but…

• Just Because – sometimes love means roasting them with style

💡 Why It’s More Than Just a Card:

Let’s be real—this isn't something they’ll toss after a day. This is fridge material. Desk material. Frame-it-because-it’s-iconic material.

It’s not just a joke, it’s a mood. And you? You’re the legend who sent it.

🚚 Shipping & Returns

📦 Orders ship in 1–3 business days
🇬🇧 UK Delivery: 2–5 working days
🌍 International: 7–14 working days (allow extra time for customs)

🔎 Got tracking? Use it to keep tabs on your card like the nosy legend you are.

💥 Problems?
If your item arrives damaged, late, or looking like it lost a fight with Royal Mail, message us with a pic within 7 days—we’ll sort it out.

↩️ Returns accepted within 14 days on non-personalized items. Buyer covers return postage unless we’ve messed up.

💳 Refunds processed to original payment method. No cacti were harmed in the making of this process.

🖼️ More Cards That Slap:

Check out our other designs if you’re into:
✔ Savage humour
✔ Soft roasts
✔ Surprisingly emotional sarcasm
✔ Or cards that make people go “WTF I LOVE THIS”

🎯 Order your World’s Biggest Prick card now, and let them know how much you care—in the most prickly way possible.

💜 About KEOLIX

KEOLIX is not for the passive, the plain, or the “meh.”
We’re the brand your neutral tote bag warned you about.

Everything here is handmade, in-house, and intentionally bold. From rude birthday cards to weirdly loveable stickers and statement prints, KEOLIX designs are built to spark joy, start drama, or add just enough chaos to your day.

Want to make your order giftable? Pair it with one of our handmade cards — we’ve got sweet, sassy, and straight-up savage.

Not sure what to get? Check out our bestsellers — the people know what’s good.

Need layout inspiration or want to see what people are doing with their KEOLIX hauls? We’re always building aesthetic combos and real-life styling ideas here. Go get lost in it.

KEOLIX isn’t just a shop. It’s a vibe. And you’re in it now.

✨ At KEOLIX, we believe small things can spark big smiles. Every product we create is made with heart, humor, and a touch of rebellion. Whether you're collecting pins, gifting cards, or brightening your space with prints, you're supporting a brand that values creativity, quality, and meaning. Our designs are more than accessories — they're conversation starters, confidence boosters, and love notes in disguise. Thanks for shopping small and choosing bold. Want more? Browse our latest drops, join our loyalty club, or follow along on social for sneak peeks and giveaways. Stay bold, stay kind, and keep collecting what makes you feel like you.