Happy Fucking Whatever – Sarcastic Balloon Greeting Card

🎈 Happy Fucking Whatever – The Ultimate Mood-Card

Sometimes the occasion calls for heartfelt sentiment.
Other times, it calls for a balloon, a blunt message, and a whole lotta nope.

For the moments when you just can’t — this is your card.

💀 Minimal Design. Max Attitude.

Let’s be real: life is a mess. Birthdays happen. Breakups happen. Tuesday happens.
This card gets it.

Featuring a single floating balloon and the words “Happy Fucking Whatever” in unapologetic bold lettering, this card is:

• beautifully simple

• aggressively honest

• the physical embodiment of a sigh and an eye roll

It’s like handing someone a middle finger wrapped in cardstock. But, you know, with taste.

🖤 Who’s this card For?

This card is for:

• your best mate who hates their birthday

• your sibling going through a breakup

• your coworker who just rage quit

• you (yes, it’s okay to buy yourself a card)

It’s the anti-Hallmark. The “I care, but also... I don’t” masterpiece.

🪩 Occasions It Slaps For:

• Birthdays (you tried)

• Graduations (finally)

• Breakups (he was mid anyway)

• New jobs (capitalism, yay)

• Literally any “meh” milestone that deserves something, but not too much

This card does the emotional labor just enough to not be cold — but keeps it cute, savage, and aesthetic.

✨ Choose Your Level of Sarcasm

• A6 (4.1" x 5.8") – Small but savage. Think: stealth insult.

• A5  – Classic size. Maximum sarcasm. Easy to frame for future pettiness.

• A4 – When the situation needs volume and a bit of drama.

💌 What’s Inside?

Blank interior – which means you can write:

• “Congrats, I guess.”

• “He wasn’t even that hot.”

• “Wishing you happiness... eventually.”
  Or nothing at all, which is a statement in itself.

Premium matte cardstock – for that smooth, high-quality feel
Matching envelope included – ready to send or deliver with a deadpan stare

📦 Shipping & Returns Info:

• Orders ship within 1–3 business days

• UK delivery: 2–5 working days

• International: 7–14 working days

Returns & Refunds:

• Not happy? (Ironic, but valid.)

• Contact us within 7 days for damaged or incorrect items

• We accept returns on non-personalized cards within 14 days

• Refunds go to the original payment method

🧠 The Vibe at Keolix

We don’t do fluffy nonsense.
We do funny, bold, and emotionally accurate.

Our cards are made for real people with real emotions — including rage, sarcasm, grief, and chaos.
From puns to punchlines, from sweet to savage, we say what everyone else is thinking — and make it frame-worthy.

🛍️ Explore More Chaos:

Looking for more honesty wrapped in cute fonts?
We’ve got:
✔ Breakup cards that slap
✔ Love cards that flirt with danger
✔ Art prints that scream “therapy is expensive”

Browse Keolix and find something that makes you laugh and low-key diss your ex.

🎉 Go On, Order It

Let’s not pretend to care.
Just add it to your cart and send some passive-aggressive love — with free UK shipping and 100% judgment-free vibes

💜 About KEOLIX

KEOLIX is not for the passive, the plain, or the “meh.”
We’re the brand your neutral tote bag warned you about.

Everything here is handmade, in-house, and intentionally bold. From rude birthday cards to weirdly loveable stickers and statement prints, KEOLIX designs are built to spark joy, start drama, or add just enough chaos to your day.

Want to make your order giftable? Pair it with one of our handmade cards — we’ve got sweet, sassy, and straight-up savage.

Not sure what to get? Check out our bestsellers — the people know what’s good.

Need layout inspiration or want to see what people are doing with their KEOLIX hauls? We’re always building aesthetic combos and real-life styling ideas here. Go get lost in it.

KEOLIX isn’t just a shop. It’s a vibe. And you’re in it now.

✨ At KEOLIX, we believe small things can spark big smiles. Every product we create is made with heart, humor, and a touch of rebellion. Whether you're collecting pins, gifting cards, or brightening your space with prints, you're supporting a brand that values creativity, quality, and meaning. Our designs are more than accessories — they're conversation starters, confidence boosters, and love notes in disguise. Thanks for shopping small and choosing bold. Want more? Browse our latest drops, join our loyalty club, or follow along on social for sneak peeks and giveaways. Stay bold, stay kind, and keep collecting what makes you feel like you.